For many men discovering you're attracted to a Trans woman or T-Girl is almost a right of passage for many single male New Yorkers. Anyone who is out there dating in the big apple has probably come across this new model T-Girl in their travels. They’re finding she’s unexpectedly pretty, down to earth and actually quite worth taking a serious look at. Often times these ladies bring the “girl” and the “friend” to the meaning of the word “girlfriend”.

The hardest part about breaking the taboo regarding transsexuals is that people connect them with being gay and gay sex. The true nature of a transsexual is not about homosexuality at all. It is not related, not even close. Identity and sexuality are two completely different issues. Transsexuals suffer with gender dysphoria, being born into the wrong body, and they can spend a lifetime trying to correct it. Like a birth defect. Being gay or straight has nothing to do with it.  There are some men who are attracted to CD (cross dresser) and TV (transvestite). That is NOT the same as TS, a transsexual or Trans woman’s goal is to live full time as female. A CD/TV is a male who dresses up.

The mental images of outrageous drag queen clowns in big wigs and a spackled face full of make-up are merely slapstick for comedic imagery, staged Jerry Springer humor. When these images are attempting to represent the true life of transsexual ladies it is as offensive to them as an African-American seeing someone in blackface.

Changing ones body to coincide with ones mind is an arduous, torturous and very expensive medical disorder that should be supported, not shunned. Like everyone else transsexuals go to school, work and make a home except all the while going through the physical pain of their condition and subjected to emotional torture by a world that wishes they would simply go away. Often times they are physically attacked simply for existing. These bashers may think they are beating a man in a dress when what they are really doing is beating on a woman with a serious medical disorder who inside, is perhaps just a little girl.

 Men who are comfortable and confident, who have nothing to prove to themselves or their friends don’t expel such hatred and violence. It is the ones who feel like less of a man inside that tend to lash out to show bravado to other males. That is the only male on male action here, dumb guys out to impress other guys. It is the true man that can see beyond skin deep and really notice a Trans woman for what she is, a woman.

Transsexuals pay the same taxes and abide the same laws as every other citizen. Yet they have no protection from harassment and abuse. It’s actually considered acceptable to harass them by some ignorant minded individuals. Trans girls are not permitted the simple right to marry legally (if they are even lucky enough to find someone). Since when is having a birth defect reason to withhold basic rights and respect? The social acceptance of their being treated as lower class citizens is an outrage and is wrong.

In truth transsexuals prefer to live “stealth” in other words keeping their medical condition a secret from the general public. They are not out there advertising this problem. They do all they can to keep it private. Living normally as any other female, without always wearing the TS label is their goal. To the transsexual female, she is just a woman. Transsexualism is just a medical condition she suffers from. It is only one part of her existence, the part that can be corrected by having SRS (sex reassignment surgery) if she so chooses.

SRS is not covered by health insurance and is the big step in transition. Before a MtF (male to female) Transsexual goes in for SRS she may have others procedures to endure. HRT (hormone replacement therapy), facial electrolysis, breast augmentation (depending on the effects of the hormones, some Trans girls don’t require implants. For some taking hormones is enough to grow breasts).

These are the challenges they face. Only after these mountainous hurdles are overcome do they even think about love and sex. Transsexuals are not restricted from having love or sex. Quite the opposite, they are often pursued sexually for their circumstance, not in spite of it. Most are more comfortable with sex once they are more comfortable with themselves.

It takes a strong person who fights hard to establish themselves in the basic gender role they know themselves to be. Something which most others are simply born with and take for granted--an identity--that matches their soul.

COMING SOON To Transsexualandthecity.com

I told him and he left me (How to handle disclosure)

My friends are gorgeous, how do I measure up? (TS beauty tips)

He says he likes me and is ok with me being TS but he is nervous about having sex?

(Surviving dating as a single transgendered woman)

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